Every day I wish I could honestly say, "I would rather be at home mothering my child than any other place in the world," but that's not always true. Some days it's true, but there are many days I struggle being content with being home. There are days when I think someone else could do a better job, so I'll just go back to working outside the home. There are days when I think this is crazy........why do people do it again? There are days when I spend the whole day fighting tears. There are days when I have a few moments to myself and clarity seeps in.
Then, there are days when I look at my boy accomplishing something for the first time and I think there is no better place to be than right here. Days when he pats me on the shoulder saying, "Mama," that I know no one else could do a better job than ME! Days when I look forward to the day my little turkey will play along side his brother or sister. Days when I pray not for strength to make it through the day, but for a little boy who grows into a man who loves the Lord Jesus, who respects authority, who is generous, and compassionate to all people. Days when my heart could burst open overflowing with the love and joy I feel.
It seems those days of overflowing with joy, those days of contentment have been few in recent months, so I write this as a reminder that those exist and they are reason enough for me to be staying home during this season of my life. I write this as a reminder that when working full time as a Physical Therapist, I had days when I was overwhelmed and frustrated. I write this as a reminder that God is always present and always working in me regardless of my feelings and circumstances.
Today, I just needed to remind myself, because today has been ROUGH!!!
*Written a few days ago
10 comments:
Thinking of you, Amber. You are a great mom. I was always told by a friend of mine that God doesn't like us to be content, which sounds silly, but when we are content we are comfortable, and we aren't turning to Him for our daily strength. I was reminded that when we are uncomfortable, we are weak, and He is at work harder than ever. Hang in there, friend!!
I love this post, not because you are having a rough day but because it is honest and truthful. I know I want to be a mom SO bad, and I want to be a stay at home mom so bad. but I think it is so important for other moms to know they aren't alone and for women like me, to know it isn't a fairy tale land that I can sometimes dream it up to be.
Thank you for your honesty.
And you are a wonderful fabulous mom,who does an amazing job!
Thank you for being so transparent. I too have my days when I hate being a mom and I mess up so badly and allow my temper to overcome me I wonder if I may have crossed the line? I love my children dearly, but I don't always enjoy being a mother. I'm very glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I think if we didn't have those rough days we would never fully appreciate the little moments that can do some serious damage on the memories of the rough ones. He is adorable, I love that last pic.
Thank you for writing this! You absolutely are not alone in feeling like this--right there with you. Hugs!
I think we all have days like that in the different roles we play. But without those bad days, we wouldn't rely on God so much. I think the struggles remind us God is there.
I'm not a mom (I'm not married yet), but it seems like there are few people who are scared to say that some days they think "I wish I wasn't a stay at home mom." Thank you for sharing your struggles and being honest and open!
This is a good reminder for all stay at home mamas. I often struggle with thoughts that someone else could do a better job than me. But then Anlon does something like coming up behind me and resting his head on my back and I'm reminded that God entrusted me to be his mama and will equip me with everything I need to fulfill this calling. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Love this post, Amber. It is so healthy to get things off your chest, remind yourself of the GOOD parts, and keep striving for that place where our will and God's are in harmony. I love that you mentioned that you had frustrations when you worked, too. I try to always remember that... No job is perfect, and the grass isn't always as green as it looks from afar ;)
You are right...it's tough! It's wonderful! It's hard! It's amazing! Will be praying for you :O)
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