His Grace....Sufficient for My Attitude
(This was originally a guest post I shared last September for Kathryn of Our Tiny Big Life. Since that time Our Tiny Big Life has switched to a new blog and as far as I know this post wasn't transferred over. I really want this post to remain in my archives so I have decided to post it again on my blog).
“I believe you want to impact people for the Lord, but your hateful attitude does the opposite.” Those words spoken whether meant to wound or not, resonated in me. I have to fight the lies embedded within them, but I have to face their truths, as well.
I have struggled with my words and my attitude for as long as I can remember. All too often I come across as a “know it all” or as someone who doesn’t care or as someone with little compassion or empathy. Thinking back to high school, I can recall many occasions where my words got me in trouble or hurt someone’s feelings or pushed someone away. During that time I didn’t really care, but in college, when I began to understand the grace of God and His love for me, I began to desire a more Christ-like attitude. Little did I know........it wouldn’t happen overnight. Not only would it not happen overnight, but it wouldn’t happen for decades.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
-2 Cor. 12:9 (NIV)
I college, God placed roommates in my life that also had a desire to become more like Him. Looking back, I realize just how perfect our mix of personalities were. We fought with one another, at times, but we mostly loved one another. Our personalities clashed, at times, but we mostly LAUGHed and did life together. God used those ladies to further reveal my weaknesses and to encourage me to keep accepting His grace and growing on a day to day basis. I will never forget the day when I realized how badly my words and my attitude had hurt one of my roommates. My heart broke and I knew then, more than ever, that I had to keep relying on the grace of God while I worked to become more Christ-like. There was no way I could DO IT ON MY OWN. When left to my own devices, I hurt others.
I would like to say from that point forward, I ALWAYS kept my tongue under control, but unfortunately I can’t. That is why I am so thankful for the grace of God. Not so I can habitually hurt others without a care in the world, but so when I do, I can experience the conviction, ask for forgiveness, and try again.
“Skeptical, incredulous, materialistic ruts have been deeply engraved in our thought, perhaps even in our physical brains by all our earlier lives. At the slightest jerk our thought will flow down those old ruts. And notice when the jerks come. Usually at the precise moment when we might receive Grace. And if you were a devil would you not give the jerk just at those moments? I think that all Christians have found that he is v. active near the altar or on the eve of conversion: worldly anxieties, physical discomforts, lascivious fancies, doubt, are often poured in at such junctures...But the Grace is not frustrated. One gets more by pressing steadily on through these interruptions than on occasions when all goes smoothly...”
Words to Live By. p. 144 The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III
So while my tongue still gets in the way and those words, “I believe you want to impact people for the Lord, but your hateful attitude does the opposite” still sting, I have learned to take them captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). I have learned to examine them, glean truth, and leave the negative, hurtful part behind. Those negative ruts that have been deeply engraved in me are slowly being replaced with the beautiful truths of God. I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. He is perfecting me every day. Therefore, I will remain open to the way He will use my mistakes to bring glory to His name.
“I look forward to seeing Christ and bowing before Him in praise and gratitude for all He has done for us and for using me on this earth by His grace--just as I am.”
-Billy Graham in Quotes, p. 160
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read previous Journey of Faith Friday posts.
2 comments:
Love this. Having little mimics around makes me even more aware of my speech, tone etc. thanks for sharing this again!
Thinking of you dear friend. Have something personal to share which relates to this and will next time I see you :)
Post a Comment