House of Stress
It seems to be a normal response in the midst of facing loss. When my paternal grandfather died I was extremely overwhelmed with graduate school, but several months later I realized the majority of that "overwhelmed" feeling was a result of his gradual decline and my grief. Several years passed before I was faced with losing another grandparent, but my response was the same. I felt extremely overwhelmed, stressed, and sad.
The last year I have experienced many "overwhelmed" moments, as I have said goodbye to my maternal grandfather, paternal grandmother, and now am in the face of losing my maternal grandmother. With each loss I have more quickly identified the stress, but have continued to struggle with surrendering it to God and with changing my actions and thought patterns. What is, most times, a home filled with a good amount of structure, cleanliness, fun, gratitude, relaxation, LAUGHter and a little OCD becomes one full of clutter, nagging, frustration, ingratitude, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction. I see it. I identify it, but I keep feeding the mess.
Yesterday, I decided I needed to lay down during B's nap taking time to journal and read God's promises regarding peace, rest, and trust. My house needed a little housecleaning, not only the physical one, but the"house" I call my body.
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because He trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the rock eternal. -Isaiah 26:3-4
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27
He who dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. -Psalm 91:1-2
This is an older song that I have gone back to time and time again when asking God to help me clean up my heart, particularly when dealing with stress and the overwhelming feeling that seems to fill me more than I would like. Shaun Groves, Welcome Home (BTW, his new CD is coming out the end of August. YAY! You can listen to it HERE)
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7 comments:
You are wise to recognize this and address it the way you did.
My hubs has had a year similar to yours and his stress manifests in a similar way. Hugs.
Lovely images, and I can definitely identify with your words as well! Praying for comfort as you deal with difficult times ahead. Hugs!
Amber,
Its so hard not to stress during times you have spoke of .however you know that GOD can and will give peace and comfort during these times.
I contiune to lift up all the family in prayer ..
You know that I'm praying for you right now. Even through the word, it is absolutely normal to have these emotions and I pray that you find peace. ::HUGS::
Saw your comment on Ashley's post about putting your Trust in God and thought I would swing buy to support another FL blogger :)
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Loss is never easy.
And don't forget James 1 - Count it all joy... That verse means a lot to me. I do believe I am a better person and I learned so much after going through the death of my first husband at a young age.
I love that song too.
Bless your beautiful heart, my friend. :)
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