House of Stress
It seems to be a normal response in the midst of facing loss. When my paternal grandfather died I was extremely overwhelmed with graduate school, but several months later I realized the majority of that "overwhelmed" feeling was a result of his gradual decline and my grief. Several years passed before I was faced with losing another grandparent, but my response was the same. I felt extremely overwhelmed, stressed, and sad.
The last year I have experienced many "overwhelmed" moments, as I have said goodbye to my maternal grandfather, paternal grandmother, and now am in the face of losing my maternal grandmother. With each loss I have more quickly identified the stress, but have continued to struggle with surrendering it to God and with changing my actions and thought patterns. What is, most times, a home filled with a good amount of structure, cleanliness, fun, gratitude, relaxation, LAUGHter and a little OCD becomes one full of clutter, nagging, frustration, ingratitude, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction. I see it. I identify it, but I keep feeding the mess.
Yesterday, I decided I needed to lay down during B's nap taking time to journal and read God's promises regarding peace, rest, and trust. My house needed a little housecleaning, not only the physical one, but the"house" I call my body.
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because He trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the rock eternal. -Isaiah 26:3-4
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27
He who dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. -Psalm 91:1-2
This is an older song that I have gone back to time and time again when asking God to help me clean up my heart, particularly when dealing with stress and the overwhelming feeling that seems to fill me more than I would like. Shaun Groves, Welcome Home (BTW, his new CD is coming out the end of August. YAY! You can listen to it HERE)
You can read other Journey of Faith Friday posts HERE.