Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Beginning of 30 Days of Truth

Courtney at Live Beautiful has posted the 30 Days of Truth Challenge.  My initial thoughts were to join in and read along as I had time.  Then, I hesitated, because there are some questions I am not sure I want to answer in a public forum.  As I have continued to read the questions I realize many of them are challenging me to examine my heart.  In recent weeks, I have asked God to help me examine my heart and purify it so that I may respect and honor those around me which will ultimately glorify God.   I know first hand that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks (Matt 12:34).

Before I begin I must say I will not be posting every day, so my 30 days may turn into 60 or more.  There is a good chance I will modify the questions or outright ignore them if I am struggling to write them in a way that will honor the LORD and uphold His Word.

Here is the list:

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

DAY 1:  Something you hate about yourself.

Hate is a strong word.  One I prefer not to use.  I tend to like the watered down version of a "STRONG DISLIKE."  However, if you look up the word hate in the dictionary you will find 1) intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury 2) extreme dislike or antipathy: loathing.  Ohhhhhhhhhhh, then maybe there is something I hate about myself and I just choose a modify it differently.

I hate extremely dislike that I am my own worst enemy.  I constantly struggle with believing that I am really good at something.  I struggle to believe I can do most things I set my mind too.  People compliment me in various areas and my heart and mind struggle to accept and believe the compliment.  Looking back at my life, thus far, I realize this TRUTH has kept me from being the best I can be.  I am good at being mediocre, but I know I could be great (at many things) if I wouldn't constantly tear myself down.  I tend to work hard to get to a certain point and then I am satisfied.  That would be okay if the satisfaction didn't come as a result of my FEAR that I can't achieve more.

God has been faithful to work on this area of my life through the study of His Word, the prayer of His people, the conviction of my heart, and most of all through the blessing of my husband.  My husband is quick to correct my "I can't do it" attitude.  He builds me up.  God has used Him to slowly purify my heart in the area of low self confidence and fear of failure.  I have a long way to go, but He is defiantly working on me.

What is going on in your heart?

Is there something you hate about yourself?

Are you allowing God to use His Word and His people to make over that area of your life?

REMEMBER:  Life is a journey and each pit stop looks different, but hopefully your end destination is the arms of the LORD Jesus.

I am thankful I know my destination even if the journey is sometimes chaotic.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Amber! I'm coming over from 30 Days of Truth (I just started) and have enjoyed reading your blog. We're alot alike! I'm adding you to my Google Reader. Have a blessed day!!!