Monday, September 24, 2012


It's been a while.  A while since I have felt the urge to write.  A while since I felt the urge to write and share what I write here for all who desire to read now or months from now.  A while since I haven't thought about what I share in this space and how it may affect what people think about me.  A while since I have wanted to spend my free time writing instead of resting or cleaning or browsing.  But today, while Sam and B are at the zoo and Z sleeps I took the time to sit down, read the Word, pray to my God, and journal.

Tomorrow we hit 4 weeks and for me this is when the newborn phase gets tough.  The adrenaline wears off and the exhaustion sets in.  The babe begins to wake up, but they spend more of their waking hours cranky than not.  I have already begun seeing the signs and it has already been tougher than the first 3 weeks.  Add to that a toddler (who has done exceptionally well I might add) that also needs to be cared for and you get a momma who simply struggles to enjoy the newborn phase.

When B hit 4 weeks everything went a little crazy.  However, he had reflux, he was colicky, and I didn't realize my milk production was low, so he was hungry.  This time around Z seems like she will be easier, but my physical body is really causing me much frustration and discouragement.  Without sharing too much information, I'll just say I can only walk a few minutes without experiencing a significant amount of pain.  I have to sit most of the day on a soft surface.  I am pounding ibuprofen and Tylenol along with using topical meds.  Plus, I try to sit on ice and use a sitz bath a few times per day.  And yes, believe it or not I have left out some information ;)

So this morning I sat down and read these Scriptures:

John 16: 23,24

...I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.  Until now you have not asked for anything in my name.  Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete."

Malachi 4:2

But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings and you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  

I said a prayer based on each of these Scriptures, but it was Joshua 1:9 that really struck me.  It is a very familiar verse to me, but one I so often forget.  God is present........with me..........every all times.........even in the trenches.

My prayer based on Joshua 1:9 was/is this:

Lord,  I admit I am terrified.  I admit I am discouraged.  Forgive me, Lord Jesus.  I want to obey Your command, so I ask for renewed confidence in Your moment by moment presence and work in my life.  I pray for the strength and courage to face each day with two young children and physical pain that makes the job more difficult.  Remind me that Your purpose prevails and that you equip those you call.  I have been called to be a mother to B and Z, a wife to Sam, and to maintain our home.  Therefore, You will equip me with all I need to do so.  Help me remember that it doesn't have to be done perfectly.  Give me the strength!!!  Give me the courage!!! And heal my body in Jesus name!!!  Amen

I hope it encourages someone who may be in the trenches with me.


The Boney's said...

AMEN AMEN AMEN sweet friend. Prayed it for you and will continue to. Here in anyway we can help.

Stephanie said...

You have definitely encouraged me this morning! You're doing a wonderful job and you will be blessed mightily by the Lord for sitting down to encourage others through your blog post even when you have so much on your own plate. Thank you!

Jen Skoog said...

With you in the trenches, dear friend!! Love you!!

katy said...

Hang in there, Amber! It does get better! Prayers for you, my friend!

Buckeroomama said...

It gets better. It does. :) Hang in there.

SIBlain said...

You don't know me, but I found your blog through a friend and this EXACTLY what I needed to hear! The past 2 months have been the hardest of my life (physically and emotionally)...different circumstances, but I am right there in the trenches with you. Thank you for laying your heart out there. I know it is hard to be vulnerable, but please know God has used you to provide inspiration to me. Give us strength!!! Give us courage!!! Heal our bodies in Jesus' name!

Us said...

Sorry it's been hard Amber. I'll pray for strength and perseverance...and physical healing! And I'm with you on the newborn phase...not my favorite either.