Tuesday, August 31, 2010

How I've been Inspired To Action

After Bennett was born blogging became an outlet for me.  I have always enjoyed writing, but never as much as I did those first few weeks at home with my new baby boy.  I began to discover other blogs that inspired me, encouraged me, taught me, made me LAUGH, and helped me reflect.  After months of minimal exercise, little sleep, and struggling quiet times Kat at Inspired to Action helped encourage me to come up with a plan.  She has asked us to share our story of change (no matter how big or small), so here it goes:

I had been following Kat's Motivation Mondays (see here for details), but with a baby that continues to struggle with sleep I was struggling to be consistent.  On top of the struggle I was beating myself up for failing to follow through with the "action plan."  It was a Sunday afternoon and I had a complete melt down.  I came downstairs and told my husband I needed to go for a walk.  I walked through our neighborhood crying out to God to deliver me from the fatigue.  I was filled with frustration and anger as I asked Him, "Why do you let your children go through this?  Why am I feeling like I wish I never had a child when so many people desperately want children?  How can I love him so much yet feel so frustrated with him and our current situation?"  Walking and talking led to some clarity, some relief, but I still spent the remainder of the afternoon frustrated.

I woke up Monday morning and began typing my "Multitude Monday" post and I began to realize that Satan was attacking my every effort to live a life of gratitude.  He was attacking my effort to serve God and serve others.  He was attacking my effort to be the wife and mother God designed me to be.  As I typed my heart began to soften, my eyes began to open, and I knew I needed to come up with a simple plan that would allow me to be more healthy.  Here is what I decided:

1.  I would use Bennett's morning nap to do a short workout, not beating myself up if I missed a few throughout the week.

2.  I would read God's Word while I was pumping in the morning.

3.  I would spend a portion of Bennett's second nap reading for leisure (Go here for a motivating post on leisure reading).

4.  I would spend time praying and listening to relaxing music while cooking, doing dishes, cleaning, etc.  

The good news is I have been able to follow through with this simple plan and have felt good about it.  The bad news is I am still fatigued and my son is still not sleeping.  However, it feels good to be working out again.  It feels good to be in the Word.  It feels good to be creating habits that I want to pass along to my children.  It feels good to be mindful of the LORD during my daily tasks.

Now if I could just kick the CAFFEINE!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Amber, I have been SO inspired by you. Not because I relate to being a tired, new mother (although I am pretty tired most of the time keeping busy with ministry life); you inspire me to make time for the things/people that really matter and to hold onto the things I love to do. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. I am humbled every time I read one of your posts. You are doing a great job... keep your pace, take it one day at a time. Bennett will be just as inspired by you one day for your love for God and your love for your family.

Carolina said...

Thank you for your honesty Amber. There have been times for me too when I have felt very frustrated with Jack and felt very guilty for doing so, despite that I had longed and prayed for him for so long~ why wasn't i thankful? It is freeing to confess that to others and leave it at the Lord's feet. He knows our emotions and our heart.

And Chrissy you are such an encouragement! I love reading your comments.

Amanda said...

Girl, I LOVE you! You make me cry all the time when I read your posts. You make me want to be a better person. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your action plan is a good idea for improving your overall wellness and happiness. Sometimes I feel like this with Emily when I am around her for too long without any help or adult interaction (and I'm not sleep deprived anymore.) It is amazing how much I look forward to seeing her when I'm away for 8 hrs, but I do love my days off from work!

Anonymous said...

OK, I know I'm not a mom (yet)... but I really like the Inspired to Action blog! Never too early to start learning, right?! :)

Kat @ Inspired To Action said...

I love how you're taking advantage of every moment! Great job Amber. (It gets easier, I promise.) :-)